Pieces of Life Memories in India

The Edge of the world. That's how people called this place (picture above). It is beautiful place that make people possibly see the beautiful landscape (sometimes there are mist that block our vision). Since, the first time I come there, I have already fallen in love with it. There are hills, rice-fields, and river. Everytime I come there, I'll always remember with my country, especially my city. It's really similar. But, it takes time for me to go to the hill in my city. It is around 4 hours until I can get the beautiful landscapes as like as the picture above. But, when I see people around me, I'll mumble, "This is not Indonesia." There is no one speak Bahasa and understand what I'm saying. There is no one look-like Indonesian here, except me.

The Edge of the world means a lot for me. I'll always come there when I miss my country. Just one sight, I can remember all of memories. And also all of people that take part in that memories. Sometimes, I cry here. I remember all of sacrifices to stand here. Not only mine, but also my mom. Repeatedly, a thousand times, I'm thankful for the gift that God has always given me. Last year, I was still angry to the God. I failed in one of the student exchange program in Indonesia, I didn't pass first stage of UWC selection with National Committee in Indonesia, I lost my best friend because of Leukimia, and the hardest part, I must face the destiny, that I will never see my dad again. Yes, he passed away because of kidney failure.

But now, God give me the answer for all my queries.

I'm happy I'm busy
I'm so happy I'm busy every day
I can forget my days that I spent with you in the past
But when you suddenly come to my mind
I feel pain like being pierced until this moment.

I wonder how did you do it at that time?
I'm still wondering if the things you did were good?

I met you, fell in love with you, I love you.
I love you, hurt you and then leave you,
Don't realize how important you are until you are far away.

I can't even talk to you anymore
I can only hang up.

Losing yourself is so frightening
but I must lose you.
I'm afraid and confused
Can't give you what you need.

Maybe, you hate me
When I touch you my blood starts flowing,
But my heart. It becomes so cold.
I feel a prickling pain
My wound is incurable and tainted
I dream everything, except the impossible thing.

I'm a stubborn girl
I only think of myself
It doesn't mean I'm lonely or want a hug,
I just want to meet you. That's all.

When we meet later,
The world starts to spin again,
The ground under my feet was smashed to pieces.
Your face changes, your voice changes.

I want to meet you again,
I understand, that's impossible.

Only a warm bitterness is left behind,
I feel you always here. Next to me.
Is that you?
Maybe that's only my feeling